Sunday, March 19, 2006

[edit]
i am honestly not cheesed off anymore
the reason i was pissed is because of the way people carried themselves
i hated the way i was the only one with the documents
thats why halfway i gave up carrying my file around
i hated the way i was so tired
but you know what.
i hated running around
i just want to be a normal camper
no one really knows how i feel
feeling of how inadequet.
camp turned out fine people were definately blessed
i was blessed in one way.
i know who are my true friends.
hard knocks and all.
i honestly did not think the first day was screwed.
God somehow carried us through and thru all the chaos it was fine
the sec 1s i remember were complaining about their groups and giving me a super hard time
by stealing my stuff and all
but it turned out alright i think.
something that daniel shared today
spiritual leadership
i have so many things running through my head now.
dont think i am some cold hearted person
you dont even know when my heart bleeds
i was thinking about stuff during QT
so dont go critisizing me.
i have feelings too
so dont go around hurting them
i did not WANT to go to church today
i wanted to not go to church for sometime cos i did not want to face everybody
everytime i feel down
i have no one to go to.
cos everytime someone else needs me so i have to pick myself up and go on
before worship and after QT no one knew how i felt
not like anyone cared.
i honestly cannot talk to anyone.
how insensititve can people get.
dont think everything is fine and dandy cos i dont show it.
dont expect me to go around solving all your problems
cos i cant i have no energy
all walls are closing on me now and there is no door.
sorry the more i think about camp the more angsty i feel about it.
i have no idea why i am angry i just am
i try to remind myself of Gods love
but i just feel so angsty
[/edit]

camp.
happy it is over yet i dont really want it to be over.
i miss the clicking group
we are so cool, sitting around and clicking.
talking about the ugimbos
miss staying up late at night just crapping with the girls
i had a total of 7 hrs of sleep for the whole camp
i just miss staying in church and not worrying about school
all you need to care about is hanging out

new way of looking at camps now
so used to sitting back and just enjoying camp
organising it and carrying it out is super tiring
i honestly did not learn much from camp cos i was away from every theme talk
always doing some stuff so it is kinda bad
looking back should not have agreed to be GL
was always away for worship/games/t-shirts
i think the t-shirt is really cool (:
Worship was super cool the way even though we are not all pro musicians and stuff.
faith, you are really good dont care what the ugimbos say or do.
it was fun doing worship and it somehow mad me feel happy.
just plain happy there is like nothing else to explain it.
i dont know if i want to relive the whole experience of camp
but it was interesting
became closer to some people
the whole politics of church is very very compliacted.
just thankful i got people like faith and choe

family day was after camp and it was really cool
they really put alot of effort in the games
everything was really nice
the fun part came when we had to destroy everything
all of us seemed to have some destructive spirit in us
felt good ripping stuff up it is like destress
jon and james went to wrap me with the cardboard
and i got a new home under a pile of cardboard.
thanks alot.
all the toys that were around was also super cool
i want one of the guns to play with
who knew kids these days are so violent
they hurt super bad when you get shot and they are alot like real guns
the short guns are super fun to play with
the gerbils are dam cool to play
they are like faster versions of hamsters with long tails
and equally cute.
faith choey and me went around for awhile and slacked
i missed the dinner with the chocolate fountain and nice food.
oh wells

came home and slept like never before
did not even care that my hair was wet
so when i woke up my hair was erm interesting
had dinner at 10pm
stayed up until nearing midnight talking before sleeping
so this morning i was late for church

Some stuff are just not worth getting pissed off at.
wasted too much energy
just they way things was done
how people treated others.
it is irritating
maybe they dont realise it but others do
dont just say something and go back on your word
scold someone but join in later
it is not fair to alot of people
and it sucks.
now it does not matter
i will forgive and forget
life is too short to keep being angry.

4:22 pm;

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BECKY
310191
JesusFreak
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Brmc
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What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Philippians 3:8

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